‘Perhaps it is not the Wisdom that others see and acknowledge but rather recognizing their own Truth wrapped in her words and actions. Perhaps others wish the same Wisdom for themselves and she will kindly tell them, “You’ve had it all along and you always will, for you cannot acknowledge Wisdom in me unless you possess it within yourself, simply because there is no ‘Out there’, there is only ‘Within’. ‘
Much time has passed.
She looks in the mirror and she does not recognize the reflection looking back at her.
There is sadness in her eyes and heaviness to her face that leaves her expressionless …
and wondering …
What happened to the sparkle in those eyes? What happened to the smile? What happened to the lift and brightness to her skin? Where did she go? She does not see the person in the reflection that she recognized for so many years. Perhaps that person is no longer.
There’s a bit of remorse as she studies the image … not so much because she misses that familiar face or that image, for she knows that person must step aside for the transformation. She misses the certainty of who she thought she was or who she thought she saw. She cannot deny the person or image and what it represented in the past, but where she’s going now, that person, that image, that belief of what was, can no longer be. She graduated and now she must move on and stand in the shadows for the “Awakened One” to emerge. Certainty is gone and replaced with uncertainty. Now what?! What can she trust in? What’s in her future? Where is she going? Who is she becoming?
It’s a process … the Awakening. For just like a good night’s rest full of dreams, images and feelings of being in another land, only to awaken in the morning and feel somewhat between worlds where only a good cup of coffee or a brisk morning shower has the power to snap her back into consciousness, the Awakening brings her to a similar place.
It’s a place where she feels held in suspension from the world that seemed so familiar and a world that she feels called to but does not fully recognize. Somehow that stiff cup of coffee or that brisk morning shower seems void of the cure to snap her back to reality and offer that warm embrace that gave her solace and security.
As she navigates the illuminated times in daylight and activity she realizes that she is not the same person. She’s been growing through some pain from her past … from her childhood … even perhaps from a previous life and now she emerges on the other side to a place of unfamiliarity and healing.
She looks in the mirror yet again and realizes that she has been living in an illusion. All of the primping and grooming that she used to engage in daily was all in vain. In her attempt to create an image that she can live with, an image that invited her to feel satisfaction, to feel pretty, to feel needed … to feel loved, she was willing to apply the disguise. She needed to be loved and accepted and to show up for that, she felt she needed to create an illusion of her greater self in order to feel whole and complete. She felt beautiful when she saw her image yet she was never really sure if the love and attention that she received was because of all her laborious acts to gain acceptance of her illusion of beauty or if it was because she could really be seen for who she truly was? She was never really sure. Perhaps it was time for her to test her uncertainty and find her truth that rested below the surface of the illusion.
Can the sparkle in her eyes still be present even if the illusion of make-up was not there?
What color is her hair … really, without the disguise of a bottled concoction? If she grew out the dyed strands and allowed her natural strands of silver to emerge, could she still feel the love for herself? Could she still feel beautiful?
What would happen if she allowed her body to take shape, giving herself permission to eat what she liked and do the activities that she really wanted to do rather than the ones she felt she needed to do in order to keep herself in the bondage of discipline?
Discipline is so combative, so abusive, so degrading … so damaging. Discipline says, “You’re not good enough! You MUST change!”
To clothe herself was truly an art! Just how creative could she be in her wardrobe in order to draw attention? Her beautifully sculpted body was perfectly enhanced by the costume of clothing and yet underneath, she felt like she was a liar; a cheat. If anyone ever really saw her flesh, would they gasp in surprise at all of its imperfections?!
Who was she when she set herself free from ALL the rules … rules that she made for herself in order to be accepted … in order to be loved … in order to embrace who she really was?
Some would say, “Oh my god, she’s let herself go!”
If you ask her what is happening that she allowed herself to get to this place of release she will tell you, “I’ve set myself free!”
Oh and how free it is!!! How very free!!!
The Awakening is a transforming process. It does not happen overnight and she was continuously challenged to compare old beliefs with the new ones and finding rest in what felt right for her. Living in a society where individuality is frowned upon because one appears so different than the others, requires a conviction to trust the internal compass that guides her. At this point in her life, there absolutely was no room for denying that very thing that grabbed her and had her in the clutches of change. It was inescapable. Going back was NEVER an option for the pull of the unknown had a hypnotic effect that kept her searching and searching.
Something miraculous is happening to her as she accepts the Awakening … the Transformation. If the truth be known, it’s the very thing she sought ever since she read the book of Solomon in the Bible years and years ago. When King David died and Solomon was to take over as king, Solomon asked God for wisdom and discernment above all other things. For he knew if he was wise and discerning, he would always walk in truth. She knew that was the answer to all of the questions she sought in her life … ‘Wisdom’. At that moment, she craved Wisdom above all other gifts.
Wisdom is a rich path. It’s a path laced with an undeniable truth and yet Wisdom will always invite perspective which by the way, is subject to interpretation. What is Truth for one, may not be Truth for another and yet when one follows their own Wisdom, their Truth will always guide them.
She may be wiser then she has ever been and her Wisdom may be her personal guide, the result is walking in her sacred Truth. Others may see her Wisdom as a virtue however she sees it as her direct connection to God. When she listens, trusts and intuits her Wisdom, she walks with uncompromising peace and conviction.
Perhaps it is not the Wisdom that others see and acknowledge but rather recognizing their own Truth wrapped in her words and actions. Perhaps others wish the same Wisdom for themselves and she will kindly tell them, “You’ve had it all along and you always will, for you cannot acknowledge Wisdom in me unless you possess it within yourself, simply because there is no ‘Out there’, there is only ‘Within’.
We all are wise beyond our own comprehension. We all have an internal compass that points the needle in the direction we’re destined to go. When we drop the disguises, when we listen, when we’re ready to awaken and when we’re ready to drop the illusion, Wisdom will emerge and show us the way to our Truth.
May you seek your Truth, walk in your own Wisdom and find your inner peace. You may not recognize yourself for a while but that’s okay. There are some things we just need to let go of in order for the new to emerge … the Awakening … the Transformation. Things, ideas and images must die off or be set aside. Old beliefs and patterns that we found comforting and reliable, must GO! They are no longer needed or necessary. As you awaken and as you seek your Truth, guaranteed, you’ll enter a new land that will be unrecognizable.
Embrace you’re Wisdom and it will always guide you to your Truth … for you are wiser then you have ever known. Maybe it’s time to discover just how wise you truly are and allow an uncompromising peace to rein in your life.