The other day, my husband said to me, “You don’t stand for anything anymore. You used to stand for something and now you stand for nothing”.
I took that remark and walked back into my office and just sat with it. I didn’t get upset. I didn’t defend myself and I didn’t negotiate a conversation to try to prove my point. Instead, I let him have his belief without a challenge.
Perhaps letting him have his opinion is just another example that validated his point.
After a long while, letting his words percolate, I gained clarity about his words. I do not stand for anything and that is true. If I did, then it would be because I think there’s something wrong that I must fight for or … stand for or … fix. I do not, for there is nothing wrong with the world. There is nothing and no body to fix. As a matter of fact, the world is perfect! People are perfect! There is nothing to adjust, correct, alter, or even remove. Perfection is all that exists.
How can we possibly know for sure who, what, where or why things happen? How can we judge who is right, what is right, what is wrong, who is wrong? How can we possibly know for sure?!
We don’t need to prove anything to anyone and we do not need to prove ourselves to anyone either. We are all perfect! We are all doing our very best with all that we know and trust. If someone thinks there’s something wrong with that then whose problem is it really? It certainly is not ours and we do not have to own it … unless we choose to.
In the end, the only person who has to deal with you is you. It is enough for you to love yourself, honor yourself, take care of yourself and live for yourself. To take ownership over someone else or something else is completely defeating. They are not part of your plan … only you are your plan.
Therefore, whomever and whatever are perfect because you are perfect. I’m quite sure that if everyone else who struggles, were to just focus on themselves and no one else, it would be absolutely enough for them to take care of.
Perhaps we get involved with the affairs of others because we think that if we can change them, then we’ll finally feel better. If we can show, teach, tell, manipulate, curse, worry, fret, get anxious about, get mad enough or cry enough, fight enough, scream enough, stomp around enough to get them to do something for us that will make us feel better, then we can rest … we win! … We have the POWER!!!
The problem with this belief is that we give up OUR OWN POWER! We’re transferring all our power to them in hopes they will fix something that only we, ourselves can fix. We demand that they fix something that they do not have the power to fix. We transfer our power over to them and expect them to measure up. That is not their job. If we think it is, then we will never be at peace because we will never be able to MAKE others happy.
As 2014 unfolds, may I invite you to give yourself permission to release? Make it a little 2014 commitment where you write down, document, share, discuss, dream and express all of the things in your life that are outside you that you are trying to control, change or fix. Release all of them. Offer them up to the Universe and recognize your hold on them … and let them all go.
Let this be the year that you gain laser focus on you. Write down all of the things that you like, love, cherish, admire and respect. Honor and recognize the things about yourself that you are not that happy with and honor them. Fall in love with yourself, focus on yourself, admire yourself and acknowledge yourself. Give yourself unbridled permission to be less than perfect. Release your expectations of yourself and just let yourself feel what you feel, love what you love, admire what you admire, get mad at what you get mad at and know that those are all natural feelings that beckon to teach you something beautiful about yourself. If they hurt, then let them hurt. If they feel good, then let them feel good. They have a precious gift just for you and if you run or transfer these feelings to another, you miss the gift.
Set people and circumstances aside and let them be. Let them support you, but set your demands and expectations aside. They are not in your world to do for you. They are only there to love you and accept you for ALL that you are and ALL that you are becoming … unconditionally. That is all!
You are beautiful! You are perfect! The world is perfect! Everybody else is perfect! Love what IS and change your life because it is absolutely magnificent and so are you!