This morning as I was journaling my thoughts, I was guided to share them on this blog. My journaling is a daily practice that is intimate and sacred however, God had impressed upon me that there may be someone out there who will receive for themselves something precious from my “Awakening” moment this morning. Is it you? If not, then let me share a piece of myself with you as I continue to breathe and walk my path for every day, something magical happens that always invites me to go deeper.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Eyes closed … giving, “Thanks”. I breathe and settle in to myself for I am aware that in this space, there is gentle peace. I am well. I am cared for. I am blessed. I am fulfilled … in this moment.
It’s delicious, tranquil and caresses me like a warm, gentle sea breeze.
I want to be more. I find myself reaching and grasping for things beyond my reach. I can feel the strain of something that stands at the edge of my grasp taunting me to reach even further for it will always stay beyond my grasp. It’s supposed to for I am not to reach for it. It must come to me and only then is it pure, right and divine. Any other time, my grasp will snatch it up and at that instant moment, it’s diffused and lost its full blessing.
There is great peace in this awareness. I’m not sure if this awareness will restrain me from forgetting and reaching once again. Perhaps there’s a gift in remembering this awakening moment. This is a powerful moment for my soul and spirit knows that the truth has just been revealed to me because I am ready to release and let go; for I am tired and weary and I AM the one who causes that feeling within myself.
I breathe deeply and release the tension and fears. This is a delicious space ~
I’m conditioned to reach for and grasp. It is the acceptable way of my people. And when I have accomplished this grueling task, then I am rewarded with accolades, acceptance and approval. I soak in the applause and praises of my people and yet, God had something better for me if only I had waited. I can taste just how delicious it could have been, had I waited. Instead, like a hungry beast, I grabbed, shoved in, chewed, swallowed and digested without ever really savoring the flavor and taste of the delicacy. God did not cheat me. I cheated on myself … all for a quick fix or instant glorification from my people that ultimately left me hungry for more. I am currently starved for the very thing that I could have received if I had waited on Gods timing. Oh there is magic and power in my awakening. There’s something sacred and divine about the fullness of a blessing and a gift. I do, I do want to receive in fullness, free from being watered down or thinned out.
So today, I shall wait on God for I am tired, so, so tired of reaching for something that continues to stay a fraction from my grasp. While I can perceive the taste of victory, it will be so much more decadent, satisfying and delicious when IT COMES TO ME! I shall wait.