What do you call it?

Recently, my beloved brother-in-law released his physical body to cancer. My Mother-in-law released her body to cancer about 4 years ago, my maternal mother had lung cancer that went into remission but has since passed due to other health problems and I’ve had several dear friends pass from cancer. Currently, I know of a few others who are walking the path of cancer.

I’ve come to respect the dreaded disease.

As my Brother-in-law walked the path of Liver Cancer, Spirit invited me to take another look at this life changing disease that threatens to take a physical life. As I wrote updates for my sister as her husband made strides, overcame hurdles and then towards the end, released his fear of death and let the disease works it course, Spirit invited me to see the gifts, teaching moments and life lessons learned from the disease. Rather than seeing cancer as a “Killer”, Spirit invited me to see cancer as the “Teacher”.  To say that it’s a transforming disease is a striking understatement.

Friends and family that are currently walking the path of cancer fearfully ask for prayers of healing as their requests come honestly, lovingly and trusting, while they navigate the unknown depths of a disease that really has no known cure. Who’s really in control when it comes to Cancer?

We have a mired of avenue’s that we can take on the road to healing, recovery and a cure, but which one works? And, why can one treatment work for one but not for another? What’s the missing link that allows one to receive the healing and one to release and let go of this physical life?

When my sister invited a couple of Elders of her husband’s church to come visit him as the cancer quickly progressed throughout his body, their assuring words comforted him that God does and will heal. Either his healing will be on this side or the other when he crosses over but ultimately, he will be healed.

This beckons a question that could ultimately alter our lives forever.

Do we need to be healed?

As humans, we put a label on everything in our lives. Everything has a name from our children who are born of our womb to the name of the document we fill out to file for a tax return. Our food has labels, our clothes have labels, our doctors have labels and our jobs have labels. We have names for our pets, we have names for the car we drive and we have names for the food we eat. We have names for places like, our living room and the state of Texas.

We’re either healthy or unhealthy, in shape or out of shape and wealthy or poor.

Things are sharp or dull, pretty or ugly, strong or weak and tall or short. Our lives are defined by labels and names.

What are all these things when we remove the names and the labels? What are they really?!

Labels are man-made … not God, Spirit, Divine or Creator made. They are all made-up names that man has concocted to put a label on something to give it a quality and a character but again I ask … what are all these things when we remove the names and labels?

Are they nothing … no-thing?

Feel that for a moment.

Can you feel that there is some truth in that statement? Without our labels and names, everything in life is really nothing without the label we put on it and the label is man-made. We take away the label and the meaning and we are left with what we would perceive as, nothing.

What if sickness is really nothing? What if it’s just a condition that we put a label on, adopted the qualities of the label, accepted them and took them in. Now, we have a name for it, we’ve accepted the qualities and characteristics of the label and now, it has become a part of us because we accept the label, the qualities and the characteristics that are associated with the name and label.

Yes, cancer is a powerful label that demands respect however, if you can grasp the label and the characteristics of this label, you will realize that as man … human, we are the ones who gave it that power because we gave it the label. When we adopt the label, now it belongs to us.

This is not to discredit those who have chosen to adopt the label. Perhaps they needed the label for a life lesson. Perhaps they chose the label because it offered an avenue in their lives that created a door to awakenings, insights and gifts. For those who have gone through cancer, if you ask them what good came out of it, they will have something to share with you. And for those who have chosen to adopt the labels, let me encourage you to release any labels you would give them for their choices because after all … it would just be a made-up label … right?

With that being said, we have the power to release the label; we have the power to drop the name, the qualities and the characteristics and see it for what it really is; no-thing!

I read an old book of my mom’s years ago called, “Who’s The Matter With Me!” The author invited her readers to begin calling sickness, symptoms and conditions a “Thing”. With this intention for “Things”, we can release ourselves from adopting any kind of characteristics, labels, names or titles of anything. With this intention, we release any and all power that any name or label can impart.

Perhaps this is really where healing can begin. If we can grasp this “Thing”, then in truth, none of us need healing from anything because it’s all just nothing. Labels removed, names removed, characteristics and qualities removed.

It’s just a “No-thing”.

To be … A Child Again

What does it mean to be a child again?

What does it mean to be free?

What does it mean to be fearless?

What does it mean to be willing to accept all possibilities?

What does it mean to be a creator of thrilling adventures?

As these questions float across my consciousness like slow moving clouds on a breezy summer day, I’m reminded by a friend that becoming like a child again is an invitation worth accepting.

The spirit of a child acknowledges no boundaries. They run, scoot, dance, celebrate and embrace the waking of the morning until the sun sets and even then they are creating new adventures in their hearts and minds ready with giddy excitement, to be experienced the next day.

“What possibilities can we create tomorrow” they may ask themselves? “What adventures can we go on and how can we make it the most fun possible? Who do we want to take with us and where would be the most exciting place to go?” The magic of a child is their world and possibilities are created in their hearts for they know no limitations. Everything is possible in their world whether is appears real or imaginary and if they run into challenges or obstacles, their creative little minds find a way around the obstacle or they create a new adventure. They’re fearless and they don’t back down, they just keep imagining, creating and moving.

As adults we say, “Oh, to be a child again …”

As this new age and era unfolds and we are squeezed from all sides to reevaluate what’s important and what is worth living for, we cannot ignore the spirit, creativity, fearlessness and curiosity of the child. If everything that is familiar, comfortable and safe is slowly being stripped away, is it unreasonable to go back to the beginning where the wonder, magic and possibilities like that of a child’s creative world, began? Anything and everything was possible and magic was real.

Somewhere along the way from the fearlessness, creativity, wonder and magic of being a child changed and we accepted the lie that we had to grow up and be responsible, dignified, conforming and trapped within the confines of a system. It was a slow process and it happened so gradually that we didn’t even recognize it happening until now in 2014, we are all starting to wake up and ask, “What the Hell is going on?!”

Nothing is working anymore. Companies are folding under the pressure of old systems that no longer support the vision. People are beginning to ask if they are truly living their purpose and what really matters enough to pursue and what can we let go of? Are the material things that used to give us satisfaction and represented years and years of hard work, really a good enough reward for the brutal sacrifices made to achieve? Do things really matter? What people really matter? Do I really matter?

Perhaps it is time to give ourselves permission to invite the spirit of our inner child, to return. Perhaps it’s time for all of us to go back to the beginning and start over where the wonder of possibilities and adventures await for us to set out on a new course … a new adventure. Perhaps it’s time to sit quietly with that inner child and ask, “What adventures do you want to take, where do you want to go and what is the most fun thing you would like to do?

Where did you go as a child to create? Did you sit on the swing set as you swung back and forth creating adventures on the fly? Did you walk down to the stream with your fishing pole and talk to God as you tempted the fish with your worm, or skipped rocks across the water? Did you build forts in your room with secret chambers and hiding places? Or did you sit with your dolls and trucks creating adventures on the fly … never really knowing how it was all going to end, you just created as you went along? Dress-up was so much fun because we got to imitate our hero within. Who do we want to be today?!

We don’t have to be adult about this, you know. We can still go sit on the swing, dream and create. We can still walk down to the river, put our line in the water and dream up our next adventure. We can still build forts across the kitchen table with different chambers and rooms, sit in it with our flashlight and dream. Perhaps even taking a big bowl of popcorn, a candy bar, a soda and pretend that we are camping.

This may sound childish but, these activities have power to heal and create. There’s a reason that as adults, we look forward to the grandchildren. It’s because they give us permission to remember and relive those memories and moments that we slowly let go of while growing up to be adults. Halloween is just not for kids. Even as adults, we look forward to the one time of the year that we have permission to dress up as our alter ego. And think about this for a minute … if we can acknowledge that Valentine’s Day and Christmas should be celebrated every day of the year, why can’t Halloween? Even if you don’t have the costume, you could still pretend.

I suspect you may not but … if you dared to, what energy would that create in your life? Sit with that for a moment. Play it out in your heart and imagination and feel it … all the way through before you start to rationalize it, then stop! Now … wasn’t that fun?!

Change is gradual … very gradual, so go easy on yourself. We did not arrive at our current location over night, but we can start today to invite our inner child to make an entrance back into our world. Invite that child freedom to create and give them permission to be silly, crazy, unpredictable, adventurous and spontaneous. If you want ice cream before dinner, go ahead!  If you really want to wear stripes with paisley and rain boots, go ahead! If you really want to wear goggles instead of sunglasses and pretend that you are a pilot flying your plane to work, go ahead! Let the spontaneous impulses invite the child within room to play.

Allow the silliness back into your life. Allow the child within, room to be bold and create. Step out of your comfort zone, your daily routine and put raspberry jelly on your corndog. One step at a time, one little gesture at a time, and one silly crazy thought at a time. Smile as you acknowledge your inner child and just know that your world may be changing and unrecognizable but … you are going to make it an adventure where … “No man has gone before!”

Hello child within … let’s go play, create and have fun! This is going to be a blast!!!

Breaking Free …

Perhaps the age of conforming has worn out its welcome. For an extended period of time, we’ve chosen a path that encourages and fosters self-control, discipline, developed skills and acceptable behavior. Where has that really gotten us … really?! Perhaps for a time, it served us well after the free-spirited 70’s but I wonder how well it’s serving us now.

Pinocchio comes to mind as I ponder the changes that are beckoning us all to release the strings that keep us tied to old ways. Pinocchio may best be remembered as the puppet with the nose that grew when he was caught lying, but there’s another dimension to the story of Pinocchio.

Geppetto was the artist who envisioned, carved and chiseled his puppet, Pinocchio. Since Geppetto had no children of his own, he thought he would craft and design one for himself. Everything that he was as an artist went into Pinocchio. He created him to be exactly what he thought he wanted but …

Pinocchio showed him otherwise. Pinocchio was not going to be tied down to strings and suggestions. Pinocchio was not going to conform to someone else’s idea. He wanted to be a free spirit; he wanted to be a “Real boy”.

Does this sound like anyone you know? Do you know anyone who is at a place in their life where they have been groomed, fashioned and conditioned to believe, behave or act a certain way to fit into someone else’s vision? How is that serving them or … you?

Is it really ok to think differently? Is it really ok to honor and recognize your misery about where you are in life? Is it really ok to be aware that what used to bring you happiness and fulfillment is not really working anymore?

Change is inevitable and we know this. The tighter we try to hold on to something that we are completely aware has passed in hopes that our grips will bring it back are quite frankly, leaving us weak, deflated, frustrated, depressed and exhausted. At the end of the day we have to ask, “Is this really all there is?”

You already know that we cannot go back, so how do we move forward? The things that used to be of significant importance are no longer carrying that hypnotic flame that keeps us content. If where we are is no longer serving us, then where do we go from here? If our identity has been wrapped up in our lives as spouses, parents, caregivers, our career or our activities and they are fraying at the seams, then where do we go from here?

What does your heart say? It has been speaking to you this entire time and it has something delightful, inspiring and comforting to share with you. If you have not heard its quiet whispers, then perhaps it’s time to sit and listen.

If our hearts are the direct link to the Divine Spirit and we trust that Divine Spirit to lead and guide us in this life, then our hearts are where we have the power to listen.  It truly is the one activity that we possess that no one can jeopardize, take away, steel in our sleep or abolish and destroy.

Sit, listen, acknowledge the subtle messages and trust what you are hearing and feeling. Be patient with yourself as you settle in to this space. Trust that the messages and the answers are really there and trust, trust yourself as you listen and interpret. It’s rarely a scream from the heart. It’s more like the gentle blow of a summer breeze or the kiss of cool water from the mountain creek. Be prepared to listen because your heart is going to reveal something that will set you apart as a creative and inspiring spirit. If you need help with some questions, here are a few that have supported me in fostering peace, awakenings and confirmation;

  1. What are my gifts? What have I been blessed with that is a loving, full expression of me?
  2. What do I enjoy doing so much so, that time passes by and I’m not aware of it?
  3. If money were never a concern, what would I do for free?
  4. What brings me joy … GREAT joy?
  5. Who do I enjoy spending the most time with?

Now, before you decide that these things don’t matter because you cannot make a living doing them, let me interject another thought.

I don’t know if you know this but, Corporate America is crumbling. Companies that used to have a solid foundation with good, moral principles, devoted employees and happy customers, are dissolving. These are careers that were the crowning glory of a college education with a line of degree’s to show for it. What used to be a desired and acceptable career path is changing and a new way of thinking and believing is emerging. We used to think that a college education that segued into a career was the noble and honorable thing to do.

Technology, innovation and creativity are emerging. People are making money now doing the very thing that brings them joy. We can do that now because old ways are dissolving and new ways have captured our interest. People are now making money by simply selling ideas …. Seriously! With the internet and social media, information travels from one side of the globe to the other in a single breath!

So when you discover what you truly love, when you discover what your heart wants to share with you about what brings you joy, I promise you, there is a way to share that with the world and … make money.

So, allow yourself to slowly detach your puppet strings so you can move, dance and celebrate your life. Give the puppeteer permission to go about their business controlling their puppets while you start charting the course to that thing that moves your soul. It’s time and I can say that because you have read all the way through this article, you’ve felt the pains of life and you know that something bigger and better is beckoning you to reach, grab and GO!

You are no longer a puppet. You’re a “Real boy”, and it’s time for you to experience a new life.



Awakening Moment

This morning as I was journaling my thoughts, I was guided to share them on this blog. My journaling is a daily practice that is intimate and sacred however, God had impressed upon me that there may be someone out there who will receive for themselves something precious from my “Awakening” moment this morning. Is it you? If not, then let me share a piece of myself with you as I continue to breathe and walk my path for every day, something magical happens that always invites me to go deeper.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Eyes closed … giving, “Thanks”. I breathe and settle in to myself for I am aware that in this space, there is gentle peace. I am well. I am cared for. I am blessed. I am fulfilled … in this moment.

It’s delicious, tranquil and caresses me like a warm, gentle sea breeze.

I want to be more. I find myself reaching and grasping for things beyond my reach. I can feel the strain of something that stands at the edge of my grasp taunting me to reach even further for it will always stay beyond my grasp. It’s supposed to for I am not to reach for it. It must come to me and only then is it pure, right and divine. Any other time, my grasp will snatch it up and at that instant moment, it’s diffused and lost its full blessing.

There is great peace in this awareness. I’m not sure if this awareness will restrain me from forgetting and reaching once again. Perhaps there’s a gift in remembering this awakening moment. This is a powerful moment for my soul and spirit knows that the truth has just been revealed to me because I am ready to release and let go; for I am tired and weary and I AM the one who causes that feeling within myself.

I breathe deeply and release the tension and fears. This is a delicious space ~

I’m conditioned to reach for and grasp. It is the acceptable way of my people. And when I have accomplished this grueling task, then I am rewarded with accolades, acceptance and approval. I soak in the applause and praises of my people and yet, God had something better for me if only I had waited. I can taste just how delicious it could have been, had I waited. Instead, like a hungry beast, I grabbed, shoved in, chewed, swallowed and digested without ever really savoring the flavor and taste of the delicacy. God did not cheat me. I cheated on myself … all for a quick fix or instant glorification from my people that ultimately left me hungry for more. I am currently starved for the very thing that I could have received if I had waited on Gods timing. Oh there is magic and power in my awakening. There’s something sacred and divine about the fullness of a blessing and a gift. I do, I do want to receive in fullness, free from being watered down or thinned out.

So today, I shall wait on God for I am tired, so, so tired of reaching for something that continues to stay a fraction from my grasp. While I can perceive the taste of victory, it will be so much more decadent, satisfying and delicious when IT COMES TO ME! I shall wait.

Letting Go …

The other day, my husband said to me, “You don’t stand for anything anymore. You used to stand for something and now you stand for nothing”.

I took that remark and walked back into my office and just sat with it. I didn’t get upset. I didn’t defend myself and I didn’t negotiate a conversation to try to prove my point. Instead, I let him have his belief without a challenge.

Perhaps letting him have his opinion is just another example that validated his point.

After a long while, letting his words percolate, I gained clarity about his words. I do not stand for anything and that is true. If I did, then it would be because I think there’s something wrong that I must fight for or … stand for or … fix. I do not, for there is nothing wrong with the world. There is nothing and no body to fix. As a matter of fact, the world is perfect! People are perfect! There is nothing to adjust, correct, alter, or even remove. Perfection is all that exists.

How can we possibly know for sure who, what, where or why things happen? How can we judge who is right, what is right, what is wrong, who is wrong? How can we possibly know for sure?!

We don’t need to prove anything to anyone and we do not need to prove ourselves to anyone either. We are all perfect! We are all doing our very best with all that we know and trust. If someone thinks there’s something wrong with that then whose problem is it really? It certainly is not ours and we do not have to own it … unless we choose to.

In the end, the only person who has to deal with you is you. It is enough for you to love yourself, honor yourself, take care of yourself and live for yourself. To take ownership over someone else or something else is completely defeating. They are not part of your plan … only you are your plan.

Therefore, whomever and whatever are perfect because you are perfect. I’m quite sure that if everyone else who struggles, were to just focus on themselves and no one else, it would be absolutely enough for them to take care of.

Perhaps we get involved with the affairs of others because we think that if we can change them, then we’ll finally feel better. If we can show, teach, tell, manipulate, curse, worry, fret, get anxious about, get mad enough or cry enough, fight enough, scream enough, stomp around enough to get them to do something for us that will make us feel better, then we can rest … we win! … We have the POWER!!!

The problem with this belief is that we give up OUR OWN POWER! We’re transferring all our power to them in hopes they will fix something that only we, ourselves can fix. We demand that they fix something that they do not have the power to fix. We transfer our power over to them and expect them to measure up. That is not their job. If we think it is, then we will never be at peace because we will never be able to MAKE others happy.

As 2014 unfolds, may I invite you to give yourself permission to release? Make it a little 2014 commitment where you write down, document, share, discuss, dream and express all of the things in your life that are outside you that you are trying to control, change or fix. Release all of them. Offer them up to the Universe and recognize your hold on them … and let them all go.

Let this be the year that you gain laser focus on you. Write down all of the things that you like, love, cherish, admire and respect. Honor and recognize the things about yourself that you are not that happy with and honor them. Fall in love with yourself, focus on yourself, admire yourself and acknowledge yourself. Give yourself unbridled permission to be less than perfect. Release your expectations of yourself and just let yourself feel what you feel, love what you love, admire what you admire, get mad at what you get mad at and know that those are all natural feelings that beckon to teach you something beautiful about yourself. If they hurt, then let them hurt. If they feel good, then let them feel good. They have a precious gift just for you and if you run or transfer these feelings to another, you miss the gift.

Set people and circumstances aside and let them be. Let them support you, but set your demands and expectations aside. They are not in your world to do for you. They are only there to love you and accept you for ALL that you are and ALL that you are becoming … unconditionally. That is all!

You are beautiful! You are perfect! The world is perfect! Everybody else is perfect! Love what IS and change your life because it is absolutely magnificent and so are you!

Let Life Come To You

We run and run and run. We run here. We run there. We run from and we run to. We are a generation on the go and we have adopted the belief that we must be running to something in order to get it. After all, it will never just come to us unless we are doing our part … right?!

Is that true?

Wouldn’t it be thrilling to know that we do not have to “Do” anything and opportunity will just show up? Yes, I know there are those of you who get a thrill out of “Doing” because it gives you a level of accomplishment and satisfaction but let me ask you this;

If you could achieve the same results from hard action by simply letting life come to you, how would that feel?

I invite you to feel it …

Imagine this: You’re sitting at the edge of the city in the park where you’re engaging in a delightful conversation with a dear friend and you’re both sipping on your favorite beverage. The birds are singing the children are over on the slide enjoying their thrills, a couple strolls by holding hands and perhaps there’s a river at the edge where several rafters casually coast by floating on the current. You are enjoying yourself immensely. There are no worries, you’re not in a hurry to get somewhere, and you don’t have a thing that you have to do or responsibilities that are pressing on your time. You’re just enjoying your connection and conversation with your friend completely in the moment.

Now imagine on the other side of the city, there’s a person walking the streets. This person has a destination to get to and each stride in their steps gets them that much closer. Step by step they move closer and closer. They are given a mission and a destination by the Universe and they are on the move. This person has not announced their intention. They have not shouted their plan to anyone. They are just walking effortlessly with intent. You may see them in the crowd of people as they move through, eyes straight ahead, no distractions, just moving right along. The wind comes, they keep moving. A car honks on the street, they keep moving. A child jumps in front of them; they move around them and keep on moving.

Do you know where they are going?

They are coming to you. There are no detours to take. There’s nothing holding them back. There are no other agenda’s on their schedule to distract them. They don’t need you to do anything to prepare for them. They do not need you to be someplace else. They do not need you to prepare a meal. They do not need you to make any announcements or to call to them. They do not need you to sacrifice anything. They do not need you to race towards them because you really don’t know where they are anyway. You don’t even have to think about them coming. You don’t have to wish for them or will them to come. You don’t even have to pray they’ll come … if you don’t want to. All they need is for you to sit tight and they will arrive on schedule … not a minute too early and not a minute too late. They will arrive right on time. They are on a mission and there is nothing stopping them … EVER!

Whew!!! Now you can rest and go back to enjoying your beverage, the companionship and the great outdoors. Breathe, live, enjoy, laugh, embrace the moment and just be you. Isn’t that nice?

Life will come to you if you let it. When you step in and try to prepare, make adjustments, and put things in order, could it be possible that you may be causing a delay? All life needs for you to do is sit and wait … seriously! Life will show up … Guaranteed!

“Oh” but you say, “God helps those who help themselves”. I must ask, what does that really mean? What if all that means is for you to stay open and ready to receive? What if all you have to do is be willing and available?

It’s just a thought and if you still think that you need to be doing, then by all means go ahead. If you’re getting tired and feel like you’re spinning your wheels, or you’re getting weak with a heavy burden then stop, have a cup of tea, invite a friend over for some delightful and engaging conversation, listen to the birds sing and just rest.

Life and opportunity come no matter what. Why not enjoy yourself and trust the Divine process?

Contemplating Truth …

How can we know for sure if something is wrong or broken?

How can we know for sure if something or someone is right or wrong?

Perhaps if we can get enough believers in the same cause united to stand with us – that will validate our beliefs but … does that much energy in the belief make it true?

How can we know for sure? Are you sure?

If we’ve believed it our whole lives … our whole lives we have lived with this belief that has become our truth, how or why would we change our minds, and why now? Do we need to change our minds?

And speaking about “Minds”, what happens in our mind? What happens in our head? Does thinking happen in our head?

If we change our thinking, can we also change our beliefs? And if we change our beliefs, does our truth change as well? If our truth changes and we begin to believe it, does that make it “The Truth”? What happens if we change that truth because our thinking has changed, what “Truth” is it now?

Perhaps there is no Truth. Chew on that for a minute!

If what we believed to be true changes because now we believe differently, then what is true now?

Oh the magic of infinite possibilities!!!

If our thinking changes our beliefs and our new beliefs change our truth, then truth is constantly changing and evolving and therefore all of life just … Is … there is no stable ground with which to stand on and everything is possible. “Truth” as we know and believe it, is dissolving constantly.

Toss your thinking out the window …

Toss your beliefs out the window …

Toss your Truth out the window …

Let life “Be” what it “Is” because it’s only our thinking that makes anything and everything so in our world but … that doesn’t make it “True”.

Perhaps closing our minds to “Thinking” and opening our hearts to loving what “Is”, invites infinite possibilities. Perhaps all of life truly is magical, wondrous, blessed … perfect! The Universe is perfect!

Loving what “Is” will set us free to experience the magic of life and that is worth living for.

It Really is Safe to Say, “I don’t know”

I’m only 50 years young and yet, I’ve spent my entire life thinking, dreaming, planning and contemplating my future. For all the energy I’ve used to prepare myself for the “What if’s” in life, they have NEVER come to pass as I thought or dreamed they would.

In truth, they were usually better or a circumstance would detour me to an uncomfortable place before arriving and then when I arrived, it was never as I imagined. It was usually better or there was a precious gift left for me to embrace.

How many times can you honestly say that things in your life turned out EXACTLY as you thought or dreamed they would?

Why do we do that? Why do we plan so heavily? Why do we try to buffer or cushion the senses in preparation for what may be an uncomfortable situation? Or plan for a glorious event with the expectation of a perceived outcome? Even if the worst shows up and all of our preparation conditions us to believe that we are ready, the truth is it never feels as we imagined and it never turns out as we thought.

I’ve been in a space in my life for the last two years that quite honestly leaves me feeling exposed and vulnerable to life. My career came to an end, I became an “Empty nester” at that very same time and then 3 months later, my mom passed away whom I had been taking care of for 5 years. Everything that I thought gave me value came to an end.

I was open, exposed, vulnerable, lost, scared and confused. I wanted to plan my future. I wanted to know the direction that God was sending me so that I could plan and prepare and … feel secure. In all of my efforts to get a grasp of my space and my circumstances, it just dropped me further and further within myself to a place that seemed completely unrecognizable. I was raw and confused.

Who am I? Who values me? Who notices me? Who sees my gifts and talents? Who really loves me? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Where are my supports? What now? What next?

I’ve had more than one person remind me that I created this space for myself at this place and time in my life. For as comforting as that should be considering I am the creator of my life, it just left me feeling even more frustrated. Why did I create this space? Why do I feel so lost? Why now?

As hours passed into days and days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, I’ve come to appreciate the answer to all of my questions. I’ve come to embrace that elusive answer that escaped me that would lend credibility to my intellect and wisdom. That one answer that was the true reflection of the wisdom that I was embracing;

“I don’t know!”

I don’t know why I’m here.

I don’t know what my purpose is.

I don’t know who sees me or who values my gifts.

I don’t know who loves me.

I don’t know what to do today.

I don’t know what to do tomorrow.

I don’t know what’s happening next.

I don’t know where the money is coming from.

I don’t know who sees me.

I don’t know who my friends are.

I don’t know what to think.

And then it hit me, I’ve NEVER known anything! If I thought I did, it was only an illusion that I created to make me feel better about not knowing.

I’ve had a lot of time to sit with this and “think” about it and guess what?! I still don’t know!

For the first time in my life, I’m aware that I do not know and I’m ok with that. I am safe and it is safe for me to say, “I don’t know”.

There’s a quote from Byron Katie that goes like this, “The mind usually says, ‘I know, I know, I know.’ But the ‘I don’t know mind’, is where wisdom lives.”

To not know is the beginning of wisdom. It’s in this space where miracles happen. It’s in this space where possibilities emerge. It’s in this space where faith, love and trust reside because it’s the only place they can reside and be whole and complete.

Without the attachments to any kind of outcome, “I don’t know” opens up the door where the fullest expression of love can reside. Please read that again …

If I think I really know, then I’ve attached expectations to the outcome which will either confirm the illusion or leave me feeling scared or lost. I can keep living in the illusion hoping and praying that someday I’ll be prepared for the revealing of the Truth or I can acknowledge and honor the mystery of not knowing and open up the door to endless possibilities.

So, at the age of 50, not knowing, never knowing, still living, still breathing, still thriving, I can honestly say that I am safe. I always have been and I always will be … even if I do not know because … It really is safe to say, “I don’t know”.

Heart Centered

Living from the heart is a powerful force.

I’ve had numerous conversations in the last two weeks of cherished friends and loved ones who are struggling to find meaning in their lives and the strong conviction that they MUST follow their hearts.

This message is dedicated to all of you who are struggling to find that place in your life where you are emotionally, physically and spiritually fulfilled. For those of you who are realizing that your calling, the beckoning of your soul, is aching for complete fullness of expression.

Let me ask you a few of questions …

  1. Are you currently in a job or a career that you struggle in because you go to work every day and you just feel that it no longer fits who you are? Perhaps you’re feeling that the best part of you is limited in full expression and creativity is being squashed and replaced with demands, formulas, expectancies and executions? Or maybe it just doesn’t challenge you any longer and your skills are screaming to be expressed in something more creative and challenging?
  2. Are you currently unemployed and you’re trying to find that one thing that makes your heart sing?
  3. Have you found that going back to work just to make a paycheck leaves you feeling like you’ve been hit in the gut by a bowling ball?
  4. Maybe you know your calling but you just cannot figure out how to manifest it to create a career path or perhaps you just don’t know where to start.
  5. And lastly and this is a big one, do you feel guilty because you are not measuring up to your very own expectations or perhaps the expectations of others? Do you feel like you’re letting yourself down and all of the people around you?

I really believe that we are heading into a new era that is beckoning change.

In the past, it was enough for us to graduate from high school, go to college, get a job worthy of our education and then spend the rest of our lives in a career that was judged by society as safe and reliable. The pay was steady, the economy was stable and we could count on that paycheck every week to supplement our needs and our lifestyles.

Enter into this generation and we’re faced with a very big shift in perception. People are no longer content working for someone else. Education doesn’t have the same meaning where graduation guarantees a fantastic career worthy of all of our studies. People are branching out on their own, creating their own businesses based on new ideas and the typical job does not supply enough for a comfortable life. Perhaps there is a reason for this shift.

There is a heart calling for you. It’s a calling that is yours and yours ONLY. It can only be expressed through what you have to offer the planet. You’ve been specially equipped to express this gift in its fullest and you will not rest until this calling has been met. It’s no longer about a job to make ends meet; it’s more about fulfilling a purpose that will lead you into a fulfilling life and lifestyle.

So, let’s all take a breath. Breathe in fresh air. Breathe in life, forgiveness, gratitude and … permission, permission to accept some changes. Breathe in possibilities, opportunities and love. Breathe in life and embrace the challenges and changes.

The change is happening because it has to. The Universe has a way of steering the Titanic and as much as we want to stay the course, the ship is too big to stop. It must keep turning because we are heading into bigger waters where the fishing is plentiful, the sunshine is bigger and brighter and the opportunities are waiting to be discovered. We must travel to this new ground. It is being demanded of us and we must go!

I liken this to Moses when he was leading the Israelite’s into the Promise Land. God told him to take his people there because he had something absolutely incredible to give them when they got there.  Do you remember what happened next? They spent the next 40 years wandering around in the desert because they were so ungrateful, unthankful, whining and dissatisfied and perhaps even scared. God kept them there until they shaped up! Do you think that it can be any different then, than it is now?

Our perception of the change will either keep us in the desert for 40 years or we can chose to be thankful and trust God to lead us to our Promised Land.

Follow your heart! Go within, seek that which brings a fire to the belly. Take your eyes off of what is seen and allow what is unseen to manifest. You are being called to do something different to usher in the new era. What is it that your heart desires? What is it that you long to do that perhaps used to be unacceptable but you feel whole and complete when you participate in it? You can say that there are no jobs out there. You can say that the economy is bad and people are just not spending their money. You can give a myriad of excuses as to why nothing will work for you or … you can open up your heart to receive all that you truly desire for yourself, accept it, ask God for guidance and opportunity and then take your first step. You were given those desires and gifts to be used … now is the time.

Author and teacher Alan Watts said that the time will come where it will not be enough for us to just have a job to make money. It’s about finding that thing that makes our heart sing and doing that! Do that thing that makes you dance in the streets. Do that thing that makes you smile. Do that thing that fulfills your soul, nourishes your spirit and puts a smile on your face. Do that thing …

Our generation is here to start a new path for future generations. We are here at this place and time for a very gifted reason. It’s not for punishment, or to be victims of what is perceived. We are here to blaze a new path for future generations. Who of you will start? Who of you will take the time to get clear about what the heart is calling for and then take your first step?

This is not a time to take a back seat. This is not a time to hide in the corner in fear or a time to take the most comfortable route and be safe.

This is a time to listen to the heart and follow it. The heart is the direct link to God and it is God who is leading his people to a new place. We are being called to go. We must do this for the future generations because we are the “Chosen” ones. What an honor! What a gift! What a life!

Listen to your heart, follow its calling and GO!

Where is your focus?

Where is your focus?

I’m reminded of a story I read in Anthony Robbins book “Awaken the Giant Within”, about learning to navigate the turns on a race car track. You must always be looking to where you want to go … in the direction you want to go in. If you focus on the wall, guess what you’ll end up hitting? If you look in the direction you want to go, you’ll stand a better chance of staying on the track.

How many times do we focus and put all of our energy on the wall? We may tell our self that we are just trying to avoid any pain by being prepared but the truth is, our focus on the obstacle guarantees impact.


There’s a quote that goes like this;

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past

If you are anxious, you are living in the future

If you are at peace, you are living in the present”

—–Lao Tzu


Freedom comes from looking down the track with our foot on the gas pedal. Does that mean that the wall goes away? Certainly not!

Perhaps we can look at the wall as a guide, a landmark to remind us that we must stay on the track and to keep looking ahead.

Another way of looking at “Focus” could be…

When you aim the camera to take a picture, does the image appear crystal clear? With my camera, I have to allow time for the lens to focus and even after it’s focused, only a small portion of the image can fit into the picture.

Perhaps life is meant to look at one small frame at a time. If the image is too big, then there can be too much information being presented and therefore too many distractions taking away the intended focus.

Let’s imagine taking a picture of a beautiful flower. My favorite flower is an Oriental Poppy. To look at the flower, one single flower, it’s absolutely breathtaking; the bright orange/red petals that are like crape paper, the deep, dark center that looks like black ink and the stamens that dangle in the breeze that bring the flower to life. Oh, it’s just exquisite!

Pull the lens back and broaden the focus and now we see all the surrounding area. This area can be beautiful, but it takes the focus off of the beautiful flower, which is what I really want to focus on.  Maybe the surrounding area can tell a story about the flower and how it came to be in all its beauty or even how it supports the flower to enhance its beauty, but if I want to capture the beauty of the flower, I must lose the story and just focus on what is, which is just, the flower.

I invite you to place the focus on what you want, on that which you WANT to see. It may be in the distance and you must stay on the track to get there with your foot on the gas, always looking ahead to the target or, you may adjust your focus on a single object and take in its beauty, leaving the surrounding area, the supporting story, in a blur or out of focus.

The reward is, you’ll gain greater peace focusing on those things that bring you happiness and pleasure.  Bring what you want into view, concentrating on what you want and leaving the other distractions out of sight. In the end, you’ll stay on track or gain clearer focus to enhance the beauty and the ultimate gift is ….. peace ~